have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
