dude i'm inner monologue high
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
