she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
