I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
