Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
