Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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