I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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