two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
