the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Randomize
