just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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