You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
