She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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