We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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