Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
