i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
