I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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