he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
