I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
