; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
