just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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