FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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