Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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