My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
