it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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