sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
