rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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