At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
