We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
