I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
