you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize