I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
