I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
