I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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