loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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