HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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