Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
