Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
