when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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