Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
