dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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