google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
