there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
