ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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