I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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