my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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