Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
