I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
