I just saw a hot homeless man
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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