We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You left your phone here
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