Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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