You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
